We have estimated that in central Scotland alone there are over 5000 people engaging in extramarital affairs each year, isn’t that astonishing? This of course does not include pre-marital relationships, so to think of the number of people that are actually cheating on their partners could well exceed 10,000 even 15,000 a year in central Scotland alone is horrifying.

We have decided to put together a list of what we believe to be the top signs/behaviours that your partner may be cheating. These signs are only indicators of a cheating partner and are not absolutes. Your partner may have a one or two of these signs/behaviours and still be faithful, there may be legitimate reasons for a lot of these signs and behaviours but if you observe several or most of these it may be a strong indicator that your relationship is in trouble.

  1. Unusual routines

  • Your partner may stop wearing jewellery/rings you have bought them all of a sudden with no reasoning why.

  • Breaking their otherwise established routines.

  • Encouraging you to leave the house or visit family more without them.

  • They may become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her things several times; their thoughts are clearly somewhere else.

  • When their behaviour just doesn’t add up.

  • They may be treating you extremely nicely as if they are trying to make up for something they have done.

  • Intentionally flirting with the opposite sex when in the past this was totally out of character.

  • Becoming more distant from you and showing a lack of interest towards your relationship.

 

  1. Birth control

  • Finding forms of birth control medication hidden in the house or car

  • Finding condoms in his car or clothing when you using alternative birth control methods or even trying to conceive.

 

 

  1. Change in grooming habits

  • All of a sudden changing their usual perfume/aftershave they have religiously used for years.

  • Arriving home and heading straight for a shower when they wouldn’t usually shower/wash until later.

  • Smelling of unusual perfume or aftershave worn by the opposite sex.

  • Leaving home smelling of their normal scent and returning smelling of something completely different.

 

  1. Your spouse and others behaviour towards you

  • Your partner avoiding social events with you, they may be trying to hide the fact they are with you at all.

  • Your partner’s friends and co-workers are beginning to feel awkward around you either because they know they are cheating or they have heard the stories that they are.

  • Your partner becomes less intimate and comfortable around you.

  • Mutual friends start acting strange around you, either because they know about the cheating or have heard about it and are afraid to tell you.

 

  1. Electronic behaviour

  • You begin to find new email addresses that you were unaware of previously.

  • You partner is spending excessive time emailing and checking their emails.

  • Immediately deleting emails and emptying the deleted emails folder too.

  • Buying a new phone and keeping it hidden, at work or in the car.

  • Deleting call and message history from their phone when they would usually let it accumulate.

  • Receiving bizarre texts and calls from friends you didn’t know exist, in other words ‘pretend’ names in their phone that are really someone they don’t want you to know about.

  • They go to extreme lengths to ensure you don’t get a hold of their phone.

  • Staying up unusually late to ‘work’ or ‘play games’ on the computer after you are asleep.

  • Continuously changing of computer access passwords, this also applies to mobile phones.

  • Finding unusual sights in their browser history such as ( "maritalaffair”, “ashleymaddison” , “illicitencounters” or "adultfriendfinder") or continuously deleting their browser history.

 

  1. Changes in your home life

  • Raising hypothetical questions like “do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time?”

  • Showing a sudden interest with helping out with household chores such as cleaning or doing the laundry its likely they are trying to find or hide something.

  • Suddenly liking a type of music they have despised in the past.

  • Loss of desire to care for your children all of a sudden.

  • Showing a lack of interest and desire for your relationship.

  • Your partner is beginning to sleep on the sofa or in the spare room more and more often.

  • Beginning to go to bed at separate times and telling you not to wait up for them when you usually always would wait up.

  • Your partner is becoming exceedingly critical of you even to the point that they are beginning to mock you on a daily basis.

  • Showing reluctance to any form of affection or criticise you for showing affection.

  • When your partner becomes “accusatory,” asking if you are being true to him/her, usually out of guilt.

 

  1. Change in lifestyle

  • He or she has joined a gym and is dedicated to a solid and rigorous workout when they hated exercise before.

  • Buying new and sexy lingerie but you never see them wearing it.

  • A sudden obsession with their appearance.

  • Sudden spike in buying new clothes and or a change in clothing styles.

  • Getting excessively dolled up to go out to the shops or to get their hair done.

  • Dressing very smartly to go see friends or pop into the office.

 

  1. Changes to his/her or a shared vehicle

  • The passenger seat is in a different position than where you left it.

  • Taking out child seats and the kids toys for no known reason.

  • Increased mileage and fuel use.

  • Less mileage than is possible for example, he/she was gone for the whole day yesterday and said they had drove to a relative’s home that is 200 miles away but there is only an extra 30 miles on the speedometer from when you last used the car.

  • All of a sudden going for late night drives when this has never happened before.

  • Finding suspicious items in the car such as condoms, lipstick, unfamiliar perfume smells and hairs.

  • Keeping a change of clothing hidden in the boot of the car.

 

  1. Unusual paper trails

  • rushing to be the first to the door after hearing to postman delivering the mail.

  • Finding ATM/Bank receipts with an unusual date, time and location on them.

  • Strange spending habits showing on bank and credit card statements.

  • Finding recipes for gifts that you have not received or are unaware of.

 

  1. Work routine and life

  • Working longer hours and seeing no financial improvement

  • More frequent work related nights out and trips away.

  • Finding out they had booked a holiday but they told you they were at work.

  • More nights away from home than usual due to work.

  • Reduced amount of wages but apparently working the same hours/days.

  • More frequently late home from work and immediately coming out with an excuse as to why when you don’t ask.

  • Blaming being stressed at work for odd behaviour.

 

  1. Things they might say to you

  • I think we need some space apart.

  • You need to respect my privacy.

  • We are just good friends or he/she is just an old friend.

  • I love you but in just not in love with you.

  • Let’s have a break.

  • I need some space to think about things.

 

  1. Changes in your sex life

This is a very controversial topic as a lot of people like to try new things and spice up their sexual life with their partner, so there may be nothing sinister in a change in the bedroom but it is one to look out for.

  • Lack of interest in intimate moments or making excuses for the infrequency of them.

  • He/she suddenly wants a lot more sex than usual.

  • Showing a new “talent” in the bedroom, this may have been recently learned from another individual whom they have been cheating with.

  • Giving increasing amounts of excuses as to why they “aren’t in the mood”.

  • Unexplained scratches or bruising.

  • Starting to request more kinky or erotic sexual behavior that you have never done before.

  • Increased lack of any affection towards you.

If you have any concerns about a cheating spouse or anything else that you think one of our Private investigators can help find the truth about, contact us via email or phone for a free discreet non-obligatory consultation.

Sources available on request.

If there is a subject or matter you would like to see us write a blog about or you would like to feature in one of our blogs please feel free to contact us with any suggestions and if we can accommodate your request we are happy and willing to discuss this with you.